What Is The Second Agreement

I used to personalize all the time. If someone asks for my advice and doesn`t accept it, I`ll get mad. At the time, I didn`t understand how someone in pain could continue to do what was detrimental to their emotional health. That`s because I didn`t see myself very well either. I couldn`t see how giving advice kept me away from others and emotionally away. On the whole, it was a pretty painful way of life — to expect others to do what I said and to be pissed when they do the opposite. I thought it was a reflection of me, but it was really in their place. Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; Therefore, you don`t have to take what you hear personally in your own head… Don`t take anything personally, because by taking things in person, you position yourself not to suffer…. If we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, it`s good. They lie to you because they are afraid.

Whatever`s going on around you, don`t take it personally. What others do is not because of you. It`s up to himself. All men live in their own dreams, in their own minds; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. If we take something personal, we assume that they know what is in our world and we try to impose our world on their world. If you hold this agreement, you can travel the world with your heart and no one can hurt you. They can say „I love you“ without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask what you need. I think all four are equally important, this agreement has had the greatest impact on my life…. These first two agreements free you from many bad arrangements that have disrupted your life. Finally, carefree words, combined with very ardent people, will inevitably bring drama.

Personalization keeps your focus out of yourself, so it`s a good way to avoid your own feelings. It also works very well to confirm your own negative beliefs. In the restaurant scenario, you can confirm the belief that you are not important, that you do not matter or that you are invisible.